Some memories of a very important person in my life. I was so sad and sorry to say goodbye when we broke up. A decade or so later I was devastated to hear that she had passed away. I miss her every day.
Here's her funeral/burial notice from the Victorville Daily Press:
Debra Rae Branaman
June 4, 1963 - August 24, 2002
DEBRA BRANAMAN Adelanto resident Debra Branaman 39, Died Aug. 24, 2002.
Visitation will be from 4 to 8 p.m. Wednesday, August 28th, at Victor Valley Mortuary, 15609 11th St. in Victorville. Services will be held at 10 a.m. Thursday, the 29th, also at the mortuary. Burial will be private at Victor Valley Memorial Park, 15609 11th St. in Victorville.
And here's a poem I wrote to her after a terrible car accident we suffered through in November 1979, shortly after we first met.
You and I
Fate, what can it do?
Oh, what Fate can do...
Anything I'd give for it
Never to have happened.
I saw my face flash in the sky,
With you beside me.
I'm glad we didn't die,
We're lucky, you and I.
But something happened,
I don't know what,
I don't care how.
But I know that in myself
I grew attached.
The puzzle pieces clicked.
We bonded, you and I.
You and I, we lived it through
You and I, we're both alive.
Here we are together,
Here we are alive,
Alive and in love together,
You and I.
And then there's this written recently, around 2023...
Silver Chain
Debbie,
I don't know how I go through life without you.
You were everything to me.
For a decade we lived and loved.
But somewhere, somehow, our relationship failed.
As sadly happens to humans so frequently,
We broke apart.
Our paths split.
But even though we separated,
(And you probably didn't know it),
My love for you, even now, has never died.
It has remained as strong as it ever was.
You married. I married.
You had children, I had children.
But my love for you stayed strong, unbroken.
But unspoken...and unshared.
And then you passed away.
I still love you these decades later.
What we had cannot be forgotten.
You have never,
And you will never,
Leave my heart.
I hope that somewhere, somehow, we'll meet again.
There's a song with the lyrics,
"My love is an anchor tied to you,
Tied with a silver chain."
Those words best describe my love for you.
And that anchor will remain tied to you,
At least, at least, until I pass.
The "silver chain" reference comes from a song by David Crosby, Steven Stills, and Graham Nash, titled Southern Cross:
Southern Cross, by Crosby Stills & Nash
- A Long Letter From Debbie, dated Dec. 11, 1980
-
12-11-80
Dear Kent,
Well, yesterday was our one year and one month anniversary. It felt so lonely here at home without you around to celebrate our aniservary (sic). Anyway, it’s a nice feeling though to hear you say “I love you” and sound so serious. It really made me tingle all over when you told me that over the phone yesterday. You know something? I love you also. More than you’ll ever realize darling. There’s no other word that describes my love for you better than “I love you”. That was shouted from the very core of my heart penetrating to my brain. I wish I could tell you in person because it means a lot more. At least it does for me!
I just got off the phone to you a while ago. You really made me smile when you said that you got your car started. All I can say is HALLELUJAH! I didn’t think old Bertha was gonna pull through there for a while. I sure hope it’ll be up here tomorrow without any more complications! That’ll be really nice to have you here for a longer period of time instead of an hour & ½ like it was on Tuesday. I didn’t want you to leave. After all, you made a great CPR patient. Especially when it comes to mouth to mouth. I didn’t know that an unconscious patient could kiss so well! We’ll have to practice that more often, huh?
So, how’s the man of my dreams doing? Hopefully you are happy and cheerful with good health piling up on your shoulders! I trust that you are in good health (except for a knew that has a boo boo) and that you’re all set to work on your car. Work til you drop, then get up and work some more! That’s what my crew leader at camp used to tell us. He meant it too!
So, are you looking forward to a long and beautiful winter this year? I sure am, especially since we both probably have jobs at Holiday Hill. I’m looking forward to the experience of working at the same place that my boyfriend does. We’ll both be close enough probably to keep an eye on one another when humans of the opposite sex move in. I’ll be prepared to fight to the finish to keep my guy. Any girl who tries to pick up on you is going to get a pop in the nose. (After work hours of course!)
Well, I just got off the phone to you again! What a brat you are sometimes! I swear, I was racking my brains out trying to figure out whether or not your car was fixed. You had me scared there for a minute.
If you come up this weekend, we get to see my mom in a parade at about 3:00pm. She’s singing with Sweet Adalines and she’ll be hurt if we don’t go watch her. That means that you have to go too! I don’t even care if there’s skiing ‘cause you’re gonna watch the parade with me OK?
Well, Dani is getting an aquarium started, a new fad at the Branaman household. We now have 3 of them to add to our household. It’s strange having fish again. We used to have a lot before we moved up here to Wrightwood but that was so long ago. It must be boring for fish to be cramped in a little box swimming around all day and night! Poor things. Oh well, it’s better than having to swim in Mono Lake huh?
So, have you heard any more about your Mammoth Mountain trip? I hope you have a terrific time if you go. Just remember that you have a girlfriend at home who will be missing you an awful lot and that she’s in love with you. Also remember to behave yourself, wash your face and keep your eyes and hands to yourself! That means no chasing the little snow bunnies who cross your trail! If not, I’ll have to get a gun, go up there, and shoot some game. I don’t think rabbit stew sounds very exciting, do you?
I sure am excited about Christmas. I want to spend it with you though, babe, but you’ll probably be gone. I hope you’ll like what I got you. You’re a hard guy to shop for. All guys are. It seems like they have just about everything. It’s so confusing! I wonder what you’re getting me. You haven’t even dropped any hints yet! What’s wrong with ya? No really, I want it to be a complete surprise!
Well, it looks like chicken for dinner tomorrow night. I just hope that you’ll be able to enjoy it with us. I’m gonna say a prayer before I go to bed tonight just for you. Golly geepers I sure do hope that you’ll be able to come up tomorrow! Well, Good night babe!
12-12-80
Hi again, it’s me. Boy, I hate calling your house in the mornings. I’ll never do that again. Your dad must really hate me huh. I feel bad but I had to get ahold of you. I just hope your dad will forgive me.
Anyway, I’m in my last class and am waiting anxiously for school to be out so that I may hurry home and get a phone call from you. Dawn is going to exercise her leg after school and then she’s gonna take Patti home. Her boyfriend Mike is here also so I’ll probably ride home with him since I know him better than Patti does. Don’t worry babe, I’ll be a good kid! I promise! Besides, I have a better guy who's my boyfriend! And no one else can have him!
I was just thinking about that girl who kissed you while I was gone at camp! What a slut! I can’t believe that. I could never throw myself at a guy like that. Oh well, I have to confess too. Brent Ahern kissed me on the cheek today during a role play. I had to be his husband and he was my wife. He kissed me on the cheek as I headed out the door for work. It was so funny watching him act like a girl. I did a pretty good job acting like a boy. Dee Anne had to play the part of a sex-starved boss. Steve Elkins was her secretary and he put two basketballs in his shirt. She got so embarrassed while she was prepositioning him to go to her home for a little bit of after-work dessert. I was rolling!
Guess what? I passed my practical for CPR which was a relief when it was over! I just have to see now whether or not I passed my CPR Test. Gee, I sure hope so. I just hope that I’ll never have to use it in a real life situation. It’s kind of a scary feeling!
You know what? I love you honey! I bet you get so tired of reading these ridiculous letters don’t you? I just get bored every so often and what nicer thing for me to do than write you a nice letter or two, or three or four, etc, etc, etc. I hope you don’t mind my writing you babe! I enjoy it!
Well, I’d better go now so take care and I hope to see you soon! I LOVE YOU,
Love Always,
Debbie
And then there are more songs...
Here are two more songs that have always reminded me of Debbie and my feelings for her, both for the decade we were together and the time that's passed since we broke up.
Looks Like Rain
Grateful Dead
I woke today, and felt your side of bed
The covers were still warm where you'd been layin'
You were gone, my heart was filled with dread
You might not be sleeping here again
It's all right, 'cause I love you
And that's not gonna change
Run me round, make me hurt again and again
But I'll still sing you love songs
Written in the letters of your name
And brave the storm to come
For it surely looks like rain
Did you ever waken to the sound of street cats making love
And guess from their cries you were listening to a fight
Well you know, hate's just the last thing they're thinking of
They're only trying to make it through the night
I only want to hold you, I don't want to tie you down
Or fence you in the lines I might have drawn
It's just that I have gotten used to having you around
My landscape would be empty if you were gone
It's all right, 'cause I love you
And that's not gonna change
Run me round, make me hurt again and again
But I'll still sing you love songs
Written in the letters of your name
And brave the storm to come
For it surely looks like rain
Sister Golden Hair
America
Well, I tried to make it Sunday, but I got so damn depressed
That I set my sights on Monday and I got myself undressed
I ain't ready for the altar but I do agree there's times
When a woman sure can be a friend of mine
Well, I keep on thinkin' 'bout you
Sister Golden Hair Surprise
And I just can't live without you
Can't you see it in my eyes?
I've been one poor correspondent
And I've been too, too hard to find
But it doesn't mean you ain't been on my mind
Will you meet me in the middle?
Will you meet me in the air?
Will you love me just a little?
Just enough to show you care?
Well, I tried to fake it
I don't mind sayin', I just can't make it
Well, I keep on thinkin' 'bout you
Sister Golden Hair Surprise
And I just can't live without you
Can't you see it in my eyes?
Now I've been one poor correspondent
And I've been too, too hard to find
But it doesn't mean you ain't been on my mind
Will you meet me in the middle?
Will you meet me in the air?
Will you love me just a little?
Just enough to show you care?
Well, I tried to fake it
I don't mind sayin', I just can't make it